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| Retro SCOTTSO, back at his old haunt, the KILLERWATT. |
He's been MIA nine months. But Retro SCOTTSO didn't bug out on his air-tight KILLERWATT contract. In fact, his attorneys point to several clauses allowing "retreats in the interest of musical edification" for the long deceased legendary disc jockey. When Retro SCOTTSO missed his first full week of airshifts back in June of '24, the legal team at Conflamed Media Global* (CMG) frantically convened high atop the Gulf and Western Building, HQ in Manhattan. There, hand-wringing suits contrived legal remedies less of precedent, but more of injudicious fancy. They prattled and quivered, a few feigned confidence, but everybody knew Brooklyn's premiere Dead-Jay had 'em by the balls. Fill-in DJ Cornelius "Cornbread" Morehead rejoiced, and sought to pen his own statutory employment safety net. Ratings suffered. KLW long time sponsor Easy Cheese slid up the dial to where the audience congealed. Panic on Signal Hill! But one cool head prevailed. CMG CEO Harold Rashmusher Jr. chastised the honking gaggle of shysters: "He'll be back to save us, he's a mensch, he's mishpokhe to me that dead meshuggeneh. I'll hear no more of suits and counter-suits!" He brought his palm forward gesturing "stop." "Now," he continued, "let's get a shvitz!" True to his contract, the Professor re emerges from sabbatical, fresher than ever ... deader than ever. And ready to rock.
Send requests in the comments below. Indie bands should contact Retro SCOTTSO here.
Interested in joining KLW's cracked team of radio fanatics? Info here.
*Conflamed Media Global (CMG), parent company of the KILLERWATT.
#StVincent #DavidJohansen #KingCrimson #LouReed #Limblifter
